Cocktails with Creative Loafing!

[Whitney Altine]

I think every little girl since the beginning of time (or at least since the first James Bond movie) has had dreams of getting dolled up to the nines and attending a fancy cocktail party. Naturally, the dream would involve the slinkiest head-turner of a Gucci little black dress that she would wear with exquisite style and confidence, and a date from some random European monarchy to which he happens to be heir, and snippy jealous comments by other women in the ladies room that are immediately "taken care of" by the hoard of body guards that Random Prince hired just for the occasion...or maybe that was just me. Well, my first cocktail party didn't exactly meet the dream standard--my dress was TJMaxx-chic, no one attending was mean enough to even attempt a satisfyingly jealous snip, and my date...well, I love my boyfriend, but he's no prince. But honestly, all it goes to show is that little girls can be kind of stupid. Why would anyone want to go to some stuffy cocktail party with a bunch of stuffed-shirt morons when they can get their party on with the staff and affiliates of Creative Loafing?! Not me!

But P.S. dirty martinis are nasty

[Elaine]

If I had known it would help to fulfill a childhood fantasy I would have provided you with a few snippy comments. You did look fabulous.